NLB Wiki - User contributions [en]

Alexandria Crossing

2022-08-23T01:17:54Z

Rabbittraps:

Alexandria Crossing is a Narrative League Blaseball player.

{{#nlb: player | 196}}

==Lore==

Alexandria Crossing was originally the traffic light suspended at the intersection between Alexandria and Symmes by the Monmouth County Library in Manalapan Township, New Jersey. They had a long and thankless career, ignored as a meaningless light at the border of a residential area, and frustration built slowly but steadily over years. Eventually, one motorist blowing their red light was the final straw-- they spontaneously grew legs, kicked their way off their mounting, and displayed crude symbols via their lights to all witnesses present (just the one motorist) before fleeing the scene. By the time they stumbled their way into Stockton, neither their rage, their impolite methods of communication, or their desire to kick inanimate objects had subsided at all, but they were at least passingly interested in blaseball. (This can be chalked up to other Gardens players showing them how to use a bat to hit things, to their evident delight.)

Crossing, or 'AleX', as they prefer their name stylized, is very successful at communication despite having no ability to vocalize or actual arms. The traffic lights they used to shape into arrows can now be shaped into letters and emoji, though they have a preference for the latter. How they are able to hold a bat and glove with their "hand" pictograph is yet undetermined, and nobody really wants to ask any questions.

==Trivia==

* AleX's jersey number is 39.
* It is presumed that AleX expresses a preferred coffee style purely out of contrarian spite.

Sullivan Aliciakeyes

2022-08-22T23:29:35Z

Rabbittraps:

Sullivan Aliciakeyes is a Narrative League Blaseball player.

{{#nlb: player | 191}}

==Lore==

Sullivan Aliciakeyes was harvested from the garden of a Stockton, New Jersey resident [identity expunged from public records, for privacy reasons] who had mistakenly believed that she had received and was growing Dioscorea polystachya (Chinese yam, or white ñame). Instead, she had been growing mandrakes-- the harvesting of which sent her to the local hospital with ruptured eardrums and signs of delirium. While the rest of the unharvested mandrakes were collected by specialists, the one freed specimen wandered until it was captured by the Passaic Industrial Remediation Learning Center, where it was adopted as an "awful little mascot". Attitudes soured towards 'Sulky', as they were nicknamed, as they developed an interest in very loud music and a taste for blood, but it was decided the burgeoning New Jersey Gardens blaseball team needed another player and the "horrid gremlin" had excess energy to burn.

While most of the team is psychically harmed by the sound of Sulky's screaming and general antics, a rare few are immune. [[Washer Elftower]] has expressed an almost parental affection towards the fellow plant-based player, declaring them and its tendency to eat small animals and misplaced objects "cute". [[Tucker Spliff]], being deaf, is not impacted by the mandrake's supernatural qualities, and as he doesn't have the same permissive attitude as Elftower towards Sulky's behavior, he was unanimously put in charge of its care and supervision. He is most often the one holding the modified child leash that Sulky is harnessed to at all times when not on the blaseball field.

==Trivia==
* Sulky's pregame scream of "GAMETIME!" has been discovered to not only be an excellent method of excising any excess energy it may have before a game, but it also has an incredible demoralizing effect on the opposing team. However, it also has an incredible demoralizing effect on the same team, and the fans in attendance. Despite this, on-field maulings are down by an approximate 73% since its inception, so looking into an alternate pregame exercise for Sulky is not currently a high priority for Management.

Sullivan Aliciakeyes

2022-08-22T23:27:27Z

Rabbittraps:

Sullivan Aliciakeyes is a Narrative League Blaseball player.

{{#nlb: player | 191}}

==Lore==

Sullivan Aliciakeyes was harvested from the garden of a Stockton, New Jersey resident [identity expunged from public records, for privacy reasons] who had mistakenly believed that she had received and was growing Dioscorea polystachya (Chinese yam, or white ñame). Instead, she had been growing mandrakes-- the harvesting of which sent her to the local hospital with ruptured eardrums and signs of delirium. While the rest of the unharvested mandrakes were collected by specialists, the one freed specimen wandered until it was captured by the Passaic Industrial Remediation Learning Center, where it was adopted as an "awful little mascot". Attitudes soured towards 'Sulky', as they were nicknamed, as they developed an interest in very loud music and a taste for blood, but it was decided the burgeoning New Jersey Gardens blaseball team needed another lineup player and the "horrid gremlin" had excess energy to burn.

While most of the team is psychically harmed by the sound of Sulky's screaming and general antics, a rare few are immune. [[Washer Elftower]] has expressed an almost parental affection towards the fellow plant-based player, declaring them and its tendency to eat small animals and misplaced objects "cute". [[Tucker Spliff]], being deaf, is not impacted by the mandrake's supernatural qualities, and as he doesn't have the same permissive attitude as Elftower towards Sulky's behavior, he was unanimously put in charge of its care and supervision. He is most often the one holding the modified child leash that Sulky is harnessed to at all times when not on the blaseball field.

==Trivia==
* Sulky's pregame scream of "GAMETIME!" has been discovered to not only be an excellent method of excising any excess energy it may have before a game, but it also has an incredible demoralizing effect on the opposing team. However, it also has an incredible demoralizing effect on the same team, and the fans in attendance. Despite this, on-field maulings are down by an approximate 73% since its inception, so looking into an alternate pregame exercise for Sulky is not currently a high priority for Management.

Tucker Spliff

2022-08-22T22:57:24Z

Rabbittraps:

Tucker Spliff is a Narrative League Blaseball player.

{{#nlb: player | 193}}

==Lore==

Tucker Spliff is a Stockton, New Jersey native and a farmer, managing and working on a small-scale family-owned farm. He was recommended as an addition to the Gardens and the Remediation Project by fellow Stockton native and childhood friend [[Stout Maybe]], remediation specialist, who was aware of both his interest in taking care of the land and his honed skill at hitting things with blaseball bats, albeit usually mailboxes from moving cars. He is most known to fans for having a long blunt holder hanging out of his mouth at all times. All questions about where he gets his weed from, what kind he smokes, et cetera, are consistently answered with 'Not for sale'.

Tucker is the resident caretaker and minder of [[Sullivan Aliciakeyes]], as he has the patience, firm hand, and ability to not take psychic damage from constant exposure to the mandragore's hellish screams that the task requires. He has attempted to get dates by putting 'single dad' on his dating profiles, but the child in question being a shrieking plant goblin on a kiddie leash tends to put people off when they discover it.

Tucker is deaf and makes partial use of hearing aids; like a number of other Gardens players, he communicates in American Sign Language and catcher sign. (ASL speakers outside the Gardens regularly find their speed and slang impenetrable and incomprehensible.) He is known to visibly turn his aids off when asked questions he doesn't want to answer, which is often.

==Trivia==

* Tucker's jersey number is 420. (Blaze it.)
* Tucker's position is catcher.

Tucker Spliff

2022-08-22T22:56:27Z

Rabbittraps:

Tucker Spliff is a Narrative League Blaseball player.

{{#nlb: player | 193}}

==Lore==

Tucker Spliff is a Stockton, New Jersey native and a farmer, managing and working on a small-scale family-owned farm. He was recommended as an addition to the Gardens and the Remediation Project by fellow Stockton native and childhood friend [[Stout Maybe]], remediation specialist, who was aware of both his interest in taking care of the land and his honed skill at hitting things with blaseball bats. He is most known to fans for having a long blunt holder hanging out of his mouth at all times. All questions about where he gets his weed from, what kind he smokes, et cetera, are consistently answered with 'Not for sale'.

Tucker is the resident caretaker and minder of [[Sullivan Aliciakeyes]], as he has the patience, firm hand, and ability to not take psychic damage from constant exposure to the mandragore's hellish screams that the task requires. He has attempted to get dates by putting 'single dad' on his dating profiles, but the child in question being a shrieking plant goblin on a kiddie leash tends to put people off when they discover it.

Tucker is deaf and makes partial use of hearing aids; like a number of other Gardens players, he communicates in American Sign Language and catcher sign. (ASL speakers outside the Gardens regularly find their speed and slang impenetrable and incomprehensible.) He is known to visibly turn his aids off when asked questions he doesn't want to answer, which is often.

==Trivia==

* Tucker's jersey number is 420. (Blaze it.)
* Tucker's position is catcher.

Boyfriend Maldonado

2022-08-22T22:20:40Z

Rabbittraps:

Boyfriend Maldonado is a Narrative League Blaseball player.

{{#nlb: player | 184}}

==Lore==

Boyfriend Maldonado was produced as a standard abstract black plastic mannequin in an unknown factory, and was soon after purchased in a bulk order by the fashion chain store Forever 2001 in Waterbridge Mall, Bridgewater, New Jersey, and subsequently displayed on the shop floor. She spent an unknown amount of time blissfully aware of her existence. According to an interview, her first moment of consciousness was one where a shopper pointed her phone at her, addressing a Facetime call on her screen saying, "do you think I could pull this off? I dunno. It's soooo out of style." Boyfriend's immediate existential crisis of being a living, thinking entity forced into the role of object was overriden by a much more severe one-- she was ''unfashionable.'' Boyfriend quickly planned her escape, fleeing the mall and making her way to Stockton, New Jersey. (Management of the New Jersey Gardens and the Passaic Industrial Remediation Learning Center both deny any knowledge or involvement with approximately $650USD of merchandise from Forever 2001 Waterbridge going missing on the night of May 6, 20▇▇, and dispute the existence of a Yloutube video purporting to be security footage from the same night titled "REAL (NOT CLICKBAIT) HAUNTED MANNEQUIN AT MALL???" which gathered about 80,000 views before disappearing from the Internet about a month after it was posted.)

Boyfriend is still a mannequin, but her plastic body has been modified to have more points of articulation, making her as mobile as her fellow humanoids and a surprisingly good splortswoman. Her true passion is her style and aesthetics, and along with her passion for clothes, she has a rotating collection of wigs and paints facial features on her blank face daily. Her fashion sensibilities are known to clash with the sport; she has agreed to at least wear the team colors on the field, if not the standard uniform overalls, however, her insistence on wearing heels at all times hampers what would otherwise be good baserunning.

Boyfriend has no capability for speech; like a number of other Gardens players, she communicates in American Sign Language. (ASL speakers outside the Gardens regularly find their speed and slang impenetrable and incomprehensible.)

==Trivia==

* Boyfriend's jersey number is 99.
* Despite no need or ability to consume food or drink, and expressed confusion when asked how she takes her coffee, she is often seen with an elaborate, Instlagrammable drink in hand. She has expressed that as a "fun drink girly", this is part of her cultivated "vibe". Other Gardens members are often passed her various drinks to hold while she signs, texts, or bats.
* Boyfriend is banned from bringing her handbag on the field, so as to prevent her from hitting other players with it.

Boyfriend Maldonado

2022-08-22T21:25:49Z

Rabbittraps:

Boyfriend Maldonado is a Narrative League Blaseball player.

{{#nlb: player | 184}}

==Lore==

Boyfriend Maldonado was produced as a standard abstract black plastic mannequin in an unknown factory, and was soon after purchased in a bulk order by the fashion chain store Forever 2001 in Waterbridge Mall, Bridgewater, New Jersey, and subsequently displayed on the shop floor. She spent an unknown amount of time blissfully aware of her existence. According to an interview, her first moment of consciousness was one where a shopper pointed her phone at her, addressing a Facetime call on her screen saying, "do you think I could pull this off? I dunno. It's soooo out of style." Boyfriend's immediate existential crisis of being a living, thinking being was overriden by a much more severe one-- she was ''unfashionable.'' Boyfriend quickly planned her escape, fleeing the mall<ref>About $700USD in merchandise was reported missing from the Forever 2001 store in Waterbridge Mall the morning of May 7, 20▇▇, but no cause or culprit was located.</ref> <ref>On May 8, 20▇▇, footage from a security camera dated two days prior was posted to Yloutube with the title "REAL (NOT CLICKBAIT) HAUNTED MANNEQUIN AT MALL". The one-minute, thirteen-second video was up for three months and collected about 60,000 views before suddenly disappearing from the Internet.</ref> and made her way to Stockton, New Jersey.

Boyfriend is still a mannequin, but her plastic body has been modified to have more points of articulation, making her as mobile as her fellow humanoids and a surprisingly good splortswoman. Her true passion is her style and aesthetics, and along with her passion for clothes, she has a rotating collection of wigs and paints facial features on her blank face daily. Her fashion sensibilities are known to clash with the sport; she has managed to agree to at least wear the team colors on the field, if not the standard uniform overalls, however, her insistence on wearing heels at all times hampers what would otherwise be good baserunning.

Boyfriend has no capability for speech; like a number of other Gardens players, she communicates in American Sign Language. (ASL speakers outside the Gardens regularly find their speed and slang impenetrable and incomprehensible.)

<references/>

Category:New Jersey Gardens Players

2022-08-22T20:24:28Z

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